As I read through the tweets, some of them sad, others frustrating, some funny and others still blaming women, I realized that there is such a great divide between the sexes with some men insisting that they are misunderstood by women and women detesting the way they are treated. Women all over the world have an impossible task to prove themselves but all the same, women in developed countries are at more of an advantage than women in developing nations. Our examples are even more complicated considering our societies are male dominated and we have cultural practices that still hold us back. I know a woman with four daughters but the husband has refused to pay school fees for them because he believes he is wasting his time paying for girls. So many girls are having this problem, where men take care of boys first and ignore the girls. We have girls being married off at 12, being sexually assaulted by relatives and in these cases when you report to the police; they say you are asking for it with the way you were dressed, or the elders accuse you of wanting to bring down your family. As for married women, it even gets more complicated; this man paid bride price that was enjoyed by the clan, if he asks for it back, the family of the bride cannot pay it back, so they tell their daughter to endure, they have all been there, this is how men are, it will pass; you will bring ridicule to the family.
Men think that everything we do is a reflection on what we want from them. Our lives are not built for optical nutrition by men but they have consistently failed to understand it. They have an insulting oral fixation that they seem not to shake. As someone who does things rarely thinking about how my fellow male workmates will react, I find this so unbearable. I don’t wear this dress for you to look at me; it’s for my own confidence and not to impress you. The reaction you derive from that is solely yours and nothing to do with me. So what I do shouldn’t reflect what you think and your opinion of that shouldn’t be imposed on me.
I have realized that whenever a woman is smart, there are remarks on whether she is searching and she will get noticed; life isn’t all about finding a mate and at the moment am content being single having come from a home with an over bearing father and three brothers. I find peace of mind in my home, alone doing what I want and when I go out on my own, am not searching, I want to have fun. At the moment I want to be on my own, without the pressure of dealing with another human being. This being Africa, everyone thinks I have failed to find a man. They all look at me and gossip but I know what I want and that is the reason am not panicking to marry.